It has been a hard past couple weeks for me. Living in the center of a third world city, and just about any city in the world, you see brokenness you don’t want to see. So, you learn how to ignore it; you cope by seeing it and then letting the memory go. You have to do it or you will spend every day depressed. But, this coping technique hasn’t been working for me these last couple weeks. One night laying in bed I couldn’t fall asleep because I had all kinds of things on my mind. So I wrote some of those things down, to help me process and in hopes of sharing with others. Here are those thoughts…
The weight of the world weighs heavy on me. It is a scary prayer to pray, “Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for your Kingdom’s cause.”
I don’t like seeing the prostitutes outside my window.
I don’t like that there is a creepy creature appearing on innocent children’s shows that my nieces love, telling children to do harmful things.
I don’t like that there are teenagers getting high off of glue, I don’t like seeing it when I drive to my apartment.
I don’t like hearing that friendships are broken because of lies and misjudgment.
I don’t like hearing college students are committing suicide.
I don’t like the conditions children have to live in because of the choices their parents have made.
It is all filth. And it is not just in Honduras, it is in the U.S., and in every one of us. And what I don’t like most is that I see the same filth in me…it is all sin.
This world is kind of like when you burn soup. Once you burn it…the flavor is there, you can’t get rid of it. There is nothing to do but throw it out and start over.
But, I have a God that is a God of new beginnings, a God of forgiveness, a God of justice, and a God of mercy and grace and love. If this God is not your God, please message me and I will talk to you more about this God. Because this world is only going to get worse and worse. But, with this God there is light…there is a future…there is hope.
We as Christians need to be asking ourselves…how can I be more courageous in sharing my faith? Who are the people God has placed in my life to minister to? We need to be bold in praying for opportunities to share, and bold in talking advantage of those opportunities. Today is the day, now is the moment to make Christ’s name known.
After writing that, I realized I had written this about a week or two before. You can see how God has been working in my heart and how the two ideas kind of come together in one main theme.
When we think of all the death that is happening in the world, we think…it isn’t fair. But, the hard truth is, it is something that we brought upon ourselves. We sin…our world is broken…we are broken…and we deserve death. Yet, God in his mercy gave us a perfect sacrifice to die in our place…in his mercy He forgave us.
We think of illnesses and people who lose their lives too early; we pray for miracles. And when the miracles don’t come…because sometimes they don’t in the way we expect, do we still praise our faithful and holy Maker? Abraham was told to offer his son as an offering, but God provided another offering, sparing his son. God’s name was glorified. Jesus, the Son of God, was sent to be the offering for all of our sins, He asked his Father for another way…but there wasn’t. God’s name was glorified. In both situations the promise God gave still stood. Sometimes there is loss…even so, God’s name is glorified.
Are we still willing to obey and trust even we don’t understand what is going on around us, or why we are going through what we are going through, or why we are called to where we are called. Are we willing to wake up every morning and say, “Yet You are holy.” In every situation…God wants what is best for his children.
In my Bible study we were talking about fevers. We pray for fevers to go away and we forget that the fever is the thing that is trying to kill the bacteria in our body.
I believe God was preparing me a week in advance. He wanted me to feel what he felt, he wanted me to see, really see, the broken world as it was. He wanted me to feel the urgency and reignite the passion in me. There isn’t much I can do for most of the people I see as I go through the city, but there is something I can do about each and every one of the sweet faces that look back at me as I teach Bible and English. I can love on those mischievous yet sweet kiddos and pray that they do not become another hopeless face that I pass by. And I can tell you all about what I do so there is an army of prayer warriors fighting in Honduras alongside me.
I don’t like feeling the weight of a broken world, BUT God uses all things for his glory; I can praise him for using these last couple weeks to renew my desire to faithfully proclaim his redemptive story.
I am leaving you with a gift–peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.